Tag Archives: spiritual fire

Experiencing Meditation, Through My Student’s Eyes

I have written before how the meditation I was taught can only be taught by direct transmission. I was fortunate to meet a teacher who was able to teach me how to forge my own relationship with the Divine.

I asked my student to share her meditation with me, and here is what she wrote:

“In the midst of everything occurring in my life recently, I’ve felt unable to meditate as deeply. I went from being able to open myself up to the divine to feeling as if there was a gate, blocking my entrance to the freedom and clarity, which come in moments of meditation.

I asked my teacher to walk me through the process of meditating as if I were first learning, and she did. We began with my posture – she had me sit up straight with held my head level – as if something were pulling me upwards by the crown of my head. Then, I placed my palms on my lap, open and facing up. I looked into my teacher’s eyes and focused on letting go.

She asked me to breathe deeply and slowly, and I began – in through my nose and out through my mouth. Almost immediately, I could feel the flow of energy coming into me and moving out of me. It felt as if every exhale allowed release, and each inhale brought rejuvenation.

It was the deepest meditation I’d had in months. In the moment, my heart felt contentment; my problems were gone and the meditation brought instant release.

Afterward, I realized that when I was looking into my teacher’s eyes, I was not actually looking into eyes at all; I was peering directly into the light, embodied by her. This light guided me into awareness that is safe and comfortable, and that was also emphatically urging me to grow into my potential. This feeling is a mix of so many things, and, above all, it is where I feel most like myself and at peace.

My teacher guided me through the process and helped me get to where I needed to be to see my next steps on my own and to simply understand my choices.”

Relationship to the Divine is one of complete surrender to It – letting go of all grasping, holding, and control to allow It to flood one’s being. As It enters, one changes – quite visibly to others.

My own transformation has completed over a month ago. It just ended without any fireworks – 9 years after my teacher’s passing. There was nowhere else to go and nothing to become. This does not mean I know everything or have all of the skills that people have in this world. It just means that I have fully become That which seemed separate and unreachable in the past.

Saying that my transformation is complete is not a statement of arrogance, but is intended as a fact of hope for others. In the About page, I talk about my beginnings and the challenges all along the way. Now, my body is just a shell for the Life Stream, which serves the evolution of others.

All-Consuming Fire Burns Both Wick and Wax

Image: Painting by Nicholas Roerich “Agni Yoga”

At some point, some One walked closer to the Flame. At first, this flame was no more than a flicker in the distance. But as the One approached, the heat was undeniable. Agni.

Despite great discomfort, the One not only approached the fire, but eventually stepped into its heart and chose to stay. There was no turning back after that.

At first, there was pain and confusion, and the One said I am pain. But after some time, the One pronounced I am Flame.

It was the imbalances of the One that crackled in the heat. Spark rose and ash fell. The One remained steadfast, becoming ever more impersonal. Layer after layer of illusion was outshined.

At some point, the One felt as if there was nothing left to burn. The cooling stream of Spirit appeared to quench the Flame. But that was temporary. Rather, this signaled a final and complete identification with the Flame and Spirit. Both Will and Love – the archetypal forces of evolution – are intricately interwoven into the glow, and the emanation is ceaseless and natural.

The One remains at-one as the Flame, which shines without prior cause and never needs fuel. Once One identifies with the Flame, there is only the nature of this fire. There is no person and no human being there. There is no agenda, no emotion, no dissection and analysis of events, and no sentimental nostalgia. There is only the undeniable being and the urge to “go back”, in a downward arc,” to serve all. But, there is a new challenge – the physical body is perceived as confining and inadequate.

Where does One go from here? Must the body be left behind? Must the physical become something else altogether to hold the Flame?

What happens when One outgrows the body? This “agony” is far more pronounced than feeling the initial scorch of the Flame. Rather than feeling like a form of personal suffering, it is perceived as impetus for further change.

How can One serve the earth directly without a body? One cannot. There must be a way to occupy this form and postpone Outshining that too…. One must find this way….