Tag Archives: peace

The Vulnerable Shall Inherit the Earth

When I was younger, I remember feeling a revulsion to the concept of “turning the other cheek” and “the meek shall inherit the Earth.” As usual, I reacted to something I didn’t understand. I think now I get it better.

When I felt oppressed, brutalized, demeaned, neglected, or objectified, I felt “weak.” When feeling weak, I thought that those who hurt me were “strong.” We were like two sides of a coin – the weak oppressed and the powerful oppressors. Both are necessary for the coin to exist.

But something magical happened over time – I grew tired. I was no longer interested in the moments of my life when I felt strong. Instead, I became fascinated with those moments when I felt the weakest and with nothing left – not even the desire to fight. I studied those moments and invited more of them in.

After going through the stages of feeling annihilated, I realized I still remained. And then I was just vulnerable and open. The attackers were like shadows lashing out, but their claws and fangs just passed right through me. I was no longer the other side of the coin – I wasn’t part of the coin at all.

Then, I began to study my weakest moments of having been beaten, shamed, abandoned, and crushed. I remembered deep sadness that was leading me to the bottom where I thought I would be erased. I stayed there. I had to find the lowest low, which was the opposite of how I typically wished to present myself in life.

I was traveling down the rabbit hole of my worst fears that held me captive, and visited closely with each one. We had tea and broke bread. Surely this would be my death, I thought.

But I remained.

I learned that surrendering to even one moment of absolute helplessness was more powerful than acting strong and feeling powerful – having nothing to “win” was freedom.

I searched my moments of triumph – highs, not lows. These were empty and hollow. I don’t even know why I tried to aim for a feeling of “strength” – there was nothing beneath it. But those moments of despair – they were rich with lessons. They were priceless in helping me to see how there was nothing to acquire, defend, hide, or run from.

Freedom is not power, but something other than the duality of strength and weakness. Existence as freedom means you can act in the interest of life without taking any side. You do the best that you can for yourself and for those you love, and… there is no “and.” That’s it. There is no loss, fear, grasping, hunting. There is nothing worth any of that hunger that fuels duality.

So many stories talk of the great ongoing war, which needs at least two agressors. If we are divided within, the war is within, and the world simply reflects what is already in motion in the unconscious.

I sit on the lowest rung of the ladder from which one falls into the abyss of the unknown. I let go and fall. As I fall, I see this ladder in the distance – war, blood, guts, betrayal, and stench. The seeming victors are gloating. The apparent victims are in despair. I also see the oppressors weeping, and victims assaulting whom they can. I recede.

The meek shall inherit the Earth because the realization that there is no war is inevitable. All are meek at the core – even the dragons who spit fire. Anyone will beg for mercy when encountering a stronger force. But the strongest force is clarity that sees through this dualistic dynamic and has no interest in participating. Nothing fuels defense or offense. Nothing is superior or inferior. Whatever it is that labels is dead.

Healing is being able to face one’s deepest shame and fear and withstanding the feeling that it is “the end.” After the illusion breaks, it is the beginning of a life of nothing to prove, no debts to accrue or collect, and no desire to be “strong.” Vulnerability diffuses all conflict.

Timeless Splendor

Imagine laying down to rest. No thoughts. No worries. You have been engaged in something creative, and it was time to stop. So you stop.

Rest can be permeated with timeless splendor. Only the energy of your presence makes a distinct sound that is your being. Feeling this presence is relaxing and energizing. It is the feeling of freedom that is the core of what makes each of us unique.

I bask in this restful state. I draw upon it in times of pressure. I am inextricably connected to it at all times. This state of rest is everpresent. I completely let go into it when I lay my head down at the end of each day.

Perhaps it is meditation, only without props. A meditation that does not begin or end. Feeling the intersections of energy that create your unique pattern of being. Rather than a single note, you are a symphony that writes itself as your life.

Every one of your cells is a pattern that emerges from the surrounding space. That apparent emptiness surrounding the apparent you is more real than the object you perceive yourself to be. In acknowledging this negative space as reality, you know that you are never separate from anyone or anything. It becomes the living truth, vibrant and alive. There is a velvety richness in the palace of your being, replete with everything you could ever need or want.

This is Grace, alive in each heart. It does not require imagination or wishful thinking because Grace is real. We can access it by choosing it over and above everything else that may be going on. We make this choice repeatedly – against all odds – until it is automatic. We choose – pain or Grace.

The silence of a restful soul makes it obvious that life sings and sparkles. As the mind calms, another vista opens up and lets in that which our worries and thoughts block. All you need is a glimpse of being suspended in this timeless state – its fullness. You are complete. You are fulfilled. You are deeply loved as you are lived.

Peace Amidst Uncertainty

I am resting – in peace. Peace is not just for death, but is here and now – for life. Everything in my life is uncertain right now, and I rest peacefully nonetheless.

I have traveled to the US from another country – from a life that would be considered difficult by most measures. I have my citizenship, but I have never felt what home feels like – not even at my country of origin. I have let go of needing a place or people to feel at home.

I’ve arrived at the end of my marriages. I had wanted marriage and friendship to be certainty, but nothing in life is certain. And yet, I feel peace.

My past is loosening from every fiber of my being – my memories, my dreams – everything is letting go. Perhaps, it is I who am letting go of everything.

On a long drive to and from a graduate class I am taking, I noticed that – despite wanting to feel regret – I do not feel regret. Everything was as it was, and now it is what it is.

Society drills into us certain ways of relating to life – that we must want, need, desire something to feel alive. If these dreams do not come true, then we must claw or cling. It was difficult for me to see through that. Now I see how, just as our brains decode light frequencies into color, we want to decode certain patterns in life. It is we who define the norms and what life should feel like when some need is not met.

Time either heals or makes things unworkable. So we adjust. On the other side, across the adjustment barrier, is something very simple. Something devoid of wanting, and yet something that cares deeply for oneself.

I feel a lack of tolerance for anything that binds me unnecessarily, or drains me. I feel care for myself. I know what I can and cannot do or give. I also know what I cannot take. Thus, it is even easier to feel care and compassion for others. I feel no need to validate my life, nor to be amidst tension and discomfort.

It’s not detachment to rest amidst complete uncertainty. Although I do not have any idea how the situations in my life will play out, I can still feel complete peace. I wait for insight – am I still responsible to someone? And, what are my choices? And, I continue, moment to moment. Of course, I still love.

I see a world filled with dreams and desires – people wanting things from the earth, from life, and from each other. Most of my life felt like a void that needed to be filled and completed. Now the void is free, and I am still here. No safety nets. No assurances. Just life. I could not know how this felt until I was in the situation to feel it. Now I know.

Knowing this is calming, soothing, and quiet. I feel quiet inside and out.

I am wondering how my life will feel day-to-day now that I know I have everything in nothing.