I am in my late 40s and, by most standards, not old. However, I have come to realize that I am no longer interested in sex.
Recently single, I feel no pressures from a partner to be sexual. As a result, there is no reason for me to try to be something I am not. I am comfortable being alone and also spending time with friends. I feel no longing of a sexual nature. Now, I can simply relax in this truth.
As I surrendered my being to the Life that lives me, I entered into an uninterrupted embrace. Paradoxically, it is me and also an exchange.
I wrote previously how my lower energy centers had merged into the heart center, which I was surprised to discover one morning. After this occurred, I began to be immersed in an altogether different kind of energy flow – making love without a partner as being.
I see nothing wrong with sex. But how many people see nothing wrong with no sex? As with anything, it was important for me to understand why. Was it something I held back, denied, or denigraded on some level? I explored and explored, but found nothing. Except that it was my truth.
It is a relief to just be good with this and not have to wonder anymore if I need to balance or heal anything.
The asexuality was not always true for me. I went through decades of being overly sexual. So, it was surprising to me when my sexuality began to dissipate – and suspicious. Was it because of my childhood? Was it because of who I was with? As it turned out, neither. I have simply changed. Being without a partner, I have had no interest in looking for someone and my state has remained consistent.
In yoga, there is the process of Brahmacharya. I’ve come to see that my body’s circuitry stepped into this flow on its own and without trying. It is what it is. It feels like I have always been a virgin, but not in the sense of some false deification.
Sometimes things are just simple.