Why the Ego Is So Tough

The human ego is incredibly challenging to see in action. This mechanism has the ability to blind us to our behaviors and to mask the real intentions under what we project. The ego is so convincing because we think that it is who we are and that it is us who is deciding what to do. In fact, our true yearning remains something we can dismiss or rationalize away. Thus, it is incredibly difficult to transcend the ego.

Nearly every person has an ego whether the person accepts this or not. In fact, it is a rather pointless discussion to convince anyone of this fact. By its nature and function, the ego does not want to be seen – let alone dismantled as the primary driver. While it is more comfortable to believe that one’s ego is “gone,” premature claims just postpone further growth. A person who is ready to move into the work of dis-identifying with ego will know the truth of the situation on some level.

There is also a difference in transcending the ego and dissolving the ego. Transcending the ego relegates its status to a tool, rather than one’s identity-shaping mechanism on the lower planes of existence. Dissolving the ego invokes other processes to configure one’s relationship to life.

The ego is a lens through which we forge an identity that is separate from others. It can be a useful lens for developing oneself in the world. It is necessary to evolve one’s body and mind such that they integrate with the life day-to-day. Without a critical mass of this integration, one cannot feel the boundaries of one’s perception at all. Although our boundaries exist, these boundaries define who we are and we do not feel any calling to push through anything. The majority of the human race is at this stage of not recognizing that one’s entire perspective is custom-made to build a powerful identity.

People without a fully formed identity are seen as unsuccessful in the world – they don’t have good “luck” with earning an income, romantic relationships, and succumb to fear of real-world pressures. Ironically, one first needs to realize one’s ego to be prepared to transcend it. Enlightenment, even in the earliest stages, requires humility. If you think about it, one must be willing to be wrong to be capable of humility. The ego does not like to be wrong, to be “below,” or to be anything other than self-concerned and comparative.

Some common tactics of the ego include fear, hiding, making excuses, blindness to reality, defensive or offensive maneuvering, control of people or situations, and attempts to convince someone of something. These behaviors are so prevalent in humanity that it is easy to assume these behaviors to be “just human nature.” Only when the ego is close to being trascended can one see through it and engage with it on a different level. Then, the ego becomes truly obvious.

The ego is so custom tailored to each being that it must be “decoded” for each being individually. However, it cannot be “diagnosed” by the mind by matching specific behaviors to conclusions. An enlightened being may seem agressive, but the aggression is only the tip of the iceberg of what this being is doing in the moment. An enlightened being may counter a statement without being defensive. Only the intuition of a transcended being can see deep enough to understand the observable behavior, tone, or words. Even written words root down to the person’s core and the ego is visible.

What is a human being like beyond the ego? Open to what’s possible, comfortable with the unknown, both confident and self-questioning, strong, quiet or vivacious, creative without judgement that down-plays the creativity of others, or rational or intuitive. Just like with the egoic persona, it is hard to “see” an enlightened being. The difference is, an enlightened being isn’t bothered by this or any other projections on him or her.

Oddly, one does not need to dedicate hours to meditation, yoga, or chanting to let go of the ego. What happens is that attention becomes tuned to this device throughout the day – maybe on and off – until it is finally felt as something “other” and not oneself. This attention is incredibly difficult to sustain. Unless a teacher is helping to bring internal dynamics to the fore, people eventually convince themselves of a comfortable truth and move on. That is the dilemma.

The ego is not only localized to an individual consciousness, but operates on different scales. Groups have an ego. The human race has an ego. However, without seeing the personal ego, it can be difficult to imagine what is going on at these scales. Each person that is free can assist with global transformation in a way that can be described as one’s unique life, but without all the drama.

5 thoughts on “Why the Ego Is So Tough”

  1. A fairly good synopsis of ego, InEx, but I am not sure how much if any good it helps anyone trying to transcend their ego. I’m not sure if that is even one of your intentions of this post, but I think for anyone on the doorstep of trying, letting them know how hard it can be is or could be a two-way street. Hard work tends to scare some people while others accept this as a challenge. Transcending the ego should be neither, in my mind–neither scary nor a challege.
    Maybe I am reading your words improperly, because nothing you say is wrong, yet I am getting an underlying feeling of not looking at the process, for transcendence is definitely a process.
    My own process was first discovering I was not really who I thought I was. Things stopped adding up. I was asking questions, and not liking the answers I was getting. Almost everything my ego was feeding me was coming from outside me. Parents, teachers, religious authorities, even friends, they were all telling me who I should be, and my ego was soaking it all in as fast as others were willing to send it my way. The problem, of course, was that nowhere in the ego was anything coming from me. I wasn’t a factor in who I was. Realizing that was really an eye-opener. And the search for who I was basically taught me what ego was trying to make me into, and I did not like it. So, rather than fighting with ego, I more or less started over, finding things to keep ego occupied while I constructed the real me.
    I’m probably not being as expressive or definitive as I would like to be, but I had to do this on my own, finding my own path. I didn’t always know what I was doing, and I made mistakes. But in the end I am happy with my results, and my ego is happy too. What more could I ask?

    1. I am not sure what more you could ask 😀 Sounds like you are happy with things! What I said is all I can say right now.

    2. I guess there is one thing… It’s better not to start at all than to start and then quit because it’s hard 🔆

      1. My ego is telling me to disagree, but I am not entirely sure why. If this incarnation is the important one, starting now only to stop later could be disastrous. But there is no reason for this incarnation to be key. If one starts now, but then stops, next incarnation will probably find one trying again, but more willing to put in the extra effort.
        But what I do not understand about what I am saying, why would any incarnation be more important than another? The key point is transcending ego, not when or where…
        I think my ego is just being difficult, as one might expect!

        1. The ego can be very happy, and beings must feel that sense of plenty to gain enough energy for the next step… With the ego, in anyone, there is a limit to the planes of existence and relationships one can access. There is a limit on how many we can help. Transformation cannot be about one lifetime being more important than another. Each lifetime, it’s just as if it were only that life (with a bank of evolution wisdom from prior lives).
          I cannot say more about what can happen when one evolves up to a certain point and then quits the transformation process…the topic is too much for online discussion…

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