There is one thing I learned on my journey and learned it well – the truth of our existence has more depth than the majority have even began to tap. Spiritual sayings of the wise are no substitute for experience.
Furthermore, conditions change, evolution takes place, and what is true transforms into something new. Would it surprise you that much of ancient knowledge no longer applies? We are an integral part of a highly dynamic whole, which is also on an evolutionary path and there is no static perspective or truth. And yet, the laws that govern evolution – the ageless wisdom – do persist. For how long? I don’t know. Maybe they are only true on the earth plane….Will they still be true beyond, as the one Life evolves?
It is in our nature to want certainty and the comfort that comes with it. But certainly is not a spiritual path for the simple reason that when you are certain, you have nothing more to learn – you stop despite the natural tendency to grow. On a true spiritual path, you are never on stable ground when you are learning that there is “no ground” – not the way you imagined it, anyway. To honor growth is to surrender to It completely, and then even more completely, and so on, discarding outmoded barriers and forms along the way.
The past year was full of surprises in the changes I had undergone – quite rapidly and unexpectedly. The identification with Spirit, expressing through the soul body is now stable. All the bodies under the soul – physical, mental, and emotional have become subordinate to the soul as useful tools in relating to Life. This was after I had already shifted my consciousness out of the three physical sheaths and became Soul. Each time I was surprised that the change continued.
Another unexpected change was to the presence of the Mystic Fire – the fire that purifies and releases consciousness. Over the years, I grew to live this fire after dreading and hating it deeply. The first time I felt the Ego burn, it felt like sheer embarrassment that I wanted to run from. Over a period of years I became the fire itself, and everything else was turning to ash. I began to love living as flame, noticing the different qualities it manifests in people.
The unrefined fire is a quality, rather than identity, and manifests as cruelty, bluntness, and sarcasm. It is closely associated with reactivity under Egoic control. Many intellectuals display this harshness.
As the Fire burns with greater purity, there is still plenty of heat. But this heat is controlled for the highest good of others, and ceases to serve as a venting outlet. There is compassion pouring through the force of fire. Fire is part of the Mental plane – the use of the mental body (and not necessarily the mind).
In recent days, my Mystic Fire was cooled by the currents descending from the soul body. I was no longer a flame, but a fluid, cool, dynamic presence washing through the body. This fluidity of movement moves as one, with no breaks in it, and appears to be pure consciousness. It has a quality of radiance, but does not burn. Ash does not burn, if the analogy is to continue. I was so used to being fire that I was quite dismayed by its absence.
I can no longer identify even with being a mystic, which – to me – means that I can no longer identify with the spiritual path at all. I am, but that is all – for now.
I’ve learned – in rapid succession- that nothing is free of change. Change occurs and is often not what one expects, but it is unstoppable and has its own schedule. Furthermore, there is a tendency to grow both into Spirit and into matter – as a bridge relates two seemingly separate shores.
Surprisingly, the personality maintains its basic qualities of humor and other tendencies, but these are softened overall. It also becomes less predictable. As consciousness shifts, the personality adjusts and refines under the pressure of the light.
Such transformation occurs only by recognizing and surrendering all that is false – all the shields and barricades from Life. These do not go without a battlecry and not without discomfort. The intense energy of change dredges up all to be seen. The only path is through, until one becomes the path, and then even the path vanishes.
As we grow, we develop our own checks and balances for discovering when we are stuck. This process must become more evolved than trusting “intuition” because intuition is limited by the level of consciousness. We simply do not have the “full” level of surrender, anf life continuously tests us in tailored ways to let us know where we are.
What next? I have no idea. And it doesn’t matter. There is no longer this desire for more insight or growth because it is apparent growth is inevitable and will occur anyway.
What’s left? Relationship to Life. Realization alone does not build the channels and connections, and conscious attention is needed to make connections at all levels and to nurture them.
Contrary to some claims, no-self is quite possible and real – especially when one lives it. After the reality of no-self, there is an awareness of a group of souls working as one, as well as the group consciousness at various scales on the planet. One moves from “individuality” to further encompassing group flow. But even individuality consists of all the small conscious atomic lives and is actually also a group consciousness.
So, we move to greater unity – that is natural – until the unity moves as us. And the consciousness reaches ever further until all changes again in very fundamental ways.
This reminds me a bit of the discrete energy levels of the atom – when an atom is hit by the correct energy of light, its electrons jump energy levels – but not until that point of having just the right energy of light being absorbed. These electron energy jumps are discrete, just like transformation, and display a profound change. Similarly, after an atom is excited it emanates the light to all Life. But this is where the analogy breaks down. Consciousness shines, but its light does not diminish because it draws its energy from something beyond the limits of current awareness.
Who can talk of any absolutes when there is only the evolving story of the mystery of Life?