Those who yearn and seek a full connection with the Universe start in a place of confusion. Bound by senses and filters, they begin to set goals, regiments, and prescribed practices. Of course, at this time the destination is unknown, but there is certainty that the destination must be better than the current state. It has to be, right?
There is a tendency of the seeker to become rigid about the pursuit for something new, and then a different confusion tends to sets in – how to properly pursue enlightenment so as to attain It. “Who is the right teacher? How and when can I expect results? Which are the right practices?”
I have gone through this – seeking with a truly Type-A personality, setting goals, and driving onward despite tremendous discomfort and at a rapid rate. I made enlightenment a goal that had to be achieved at all costs. Thankfully, I was blessed with a teacher that truly knew what binds the human spirit on Earth….
I discovered that there is not one “destination” but many – as many transformations as the body can take before one must leave the physical behind completely to move further. First, one realizes that one is not the illusions constructed by the ego and knows there is something akin to Light – physically and wholebodily. Then, one realizes that he or she is not the awareness watching the ego. Then another awareness emerges beyond that prior realization. The infinite is felt physically and is undeniable – that feeling continues to deepen. The transformations, once stable, are unmistakable because the world becomes ever more transparent. So, the entire concept of a goal becomes just a motivating force until it is no longer needed and cast aside. Enlightenment seems to be a process of letting go, and then letting go some more, and so on, while taking the time to integrate the new perspectives on the world and its process of life from new vantage points.
But, after you are no longer anyone and identify only with Infinity (at whatever level) – then what?
I learned that enlightenment is really only evolution, but not the whole picture. It is only change ever-changing to release all filters of one’s relationship to life. However, life must still be lived. And that is, perhaps, also another step in enlightenment – to reach to infinity while reaching back to the Earth in truth. I picture many tendrils of connection emanating from Infinity to discover Itself on Earth.
It is an interesting cross-road – what to do after enlightenment…. And the answer is not as simple as one would imagine. One could leave this dimension altogether, or stay and help from the vantage point of the physical.
I feel like my decision is already known to me, but “I” have not embraced it yet. Staying in the physical plane is just one way to help, but there are many ways to help. Service is on automatic – the commitment to “others” does not stop. But what is the best way to serve as my unique being?
What is next? It’s not yet clear. We are all given free will and that never goes away. There are no wrong turns, and the next turn remains as mysterious as enlightenment initially was.
I realized that, in itself, enlightenment is not a goal. It is more of a release of what binds us from being who we really are. There is only so much we can release while being in physical form because this body is also a bind.
My teacher always said that it is about “happiness and its expression.” The enlightened state demands expression – unconditional happiness is not enough. An unconditional really does mean happiness independent of life’s ups and downs rooted in something deeper, ancient, and true that pervades all.
So, what expression do I choose? This requires experimentation. I no longer have anything to lose or gain, so I experiment…. But, I know my expression is not yet full. What I currently offer could be aligned better with who I am.
Growth appears to be neverending. One can live as purpose in its purest form, and that purpose must shine our truth. That truth must be discovered by each of us independently because no two being are alike and have a unique contribution to make. There are many ways to help the world rise to the challenge of living, and there is also more understanding of when to stand aside and allow change to be what it is. I guess I’ll just take it day by day and learn all that I can about how to best serve a planet that I love dearly. That is all I can do….